Knowledge from a junk shop tray

I take a jewel from a junk shop tray

And wish I had a love to buy it for.

Nothing I choose will make you turn my way.

Nothing I give will make you love me more.

I know that I've embarassed you too long

And I'm ashamed to linger at your door.

Whatever I embark on will be wrong.

Nothing I do will make you love me more.

I cannot work. I cannot read or write.

How cam I frame a letter to implore.

Eloquence is a lie. The truth is trite.

Nothing I say will make you love me more.

So I replace the jewel in the tray

And laughingly pretend I'm far too poor.

Nothing I give, nothing I do or say,

Nothing I am will make you love me more.

'Nothing', James Fenton

At least I know that you don't know. Because if you knew, you would know how raw I'd be, how much it would hurt to hear you say what you said.

So at least I know that you don't know.

But, it did break my heart, again.

Because I also know that you definitely don't feel the same, secretly. And I can't believe you ever will. Why would you? Why would you look twice at someone like me? Why would anyone?

No matter what I do, no matter what I change, no matter how much weight I lose, no matter how much crap I put myself through... in the end, nothing will make you love me more.

I wish there was something could make me love you less.