I am still alive!

Sorry for being missing in action for so long. I'm also really apologising to myself here, because this blog is meant to be where I let out my thoughts and examine my head and work out what I should be doing, and I obviously haven't been doing that, and it really would have helped, I'm sure.

So, collected thoughts from the past few weeks, here we go:

Just because I'm not restricting for a day does not mean I can go and eat half a fucking tin of biscuits. That's not okay. Expecially because they weren't mine. Why do I get such strong urges to binge on other people's food? It's like some crappy eating-disordered kleptomania. Makes me feel even more shit. Needs to STOP.

I think I need to force myself to comprehend that the days of losing two or three or four pounds in a week are gone. My body just can't sustain that rate of weight loss even if I give it the requisite deficits. Okay, maybe two pounds is feasible, but I really really need to stop seeing a 1lb loss as some sort of failure. A loss is a loss, and one pound gone is one pound gone. It's a good thing, and a realistic goal, and it's what I need to be aiming for.

Also, I may (may!) consider investing in some electric scales, not because I think they'll give me kinder readings, but because they'll give me instant readings that I don't have to 'interpret', deciding whether the arrow is nearer the one line or the other and caculating what each of those lines actually stands for and confusing myself. I guess that sounds a bit silly, but when the loss might only be a pound, it's very very easy on mechanical scales (especially the ones I have here, which are my housemate's and have a pretty small face for reading from) to look like you're getting a reading a pound, two pounds, or more either above or below where you actually should be. So we'll see.

Otherwise, life is going pretty well. I've found somewhere to live next year (FUCK YES), so that's one major source of stress out of the way. All my uni courses are still new and interesting and have yet to dole out unbearable workloads, so all is good.

Now all we need is the weather to warm up a bit, and we're golden.