Far from the ones you love.
Or unbearably close. But still unbroachably far.
With a mind full of dreams where they reject you and turn away in disgust.
With a mind waking full of your dilemma.
Slowly eating cherries like nothing is wrong.
With a mind full of thoughts, like...
There's a bruise growing in the middle of my back.
I want to learn to drive but I'm afraid.
Even the decreasing number on the scale isn't satisfying anymore.
Why am I such a coward?
I haven't had a period in six months, nor a regular one for ten months. This should probably worry me more than it does.
There are birds singing outside the window in the grey morning.
Please please please let me let me let me get what I want...
But I never will until I go for it.
And I'm too much of a coward, aren't I?
I don't want to hurt you.
I don't want to hurt us.
I'm fucking scared, okay?