"Fucking hell, this is ridiculous."
My thoughts as I dramatically choke on pak choi in a chinese restaurant.
It would have been a suitably hideous end to a hideous day full of casual racism and religious bigotry over chocolate cake. How I do love visiting my grandma. Though there were no comments about my weight, so we must be grateful for small mercies.
And the rain has stopped, like a weight off my chest. The sky is still grey, and there's more rain on the way, but for now it's calm. I think I've found the eye of the storm, in my storm-in-a-teacup of a life.
So long as I steer clear of vegetables, which are clearly out to get me.