Monday, 16 July 2012

My favourite hobby

Talking to myself.

Dear Mind,

Hi. Hello there. This is your Body speaking. Yes, I do have a right to do that, so quit your bitching and listen for a change.

I know we're not great friends. I know there've been times when you've hated me almost as much as you hate yourself. I know you know every single one of my imperfections. I know you've stressed me and changed me and put all your will into trying to morph me into something to your tastes.

But can you just give it a rest for a minute and listen to me? I'm not just a wobbly sack of matter for you to jaunt around in. I'm an incredibly complex and sophisticated organism with abilities and talents and opportunities that many people would envy. I am a beautiful work of nature.

No, shut up, I don't care if you don't want me to use that word, you don't get a say in this. I'M the one talking here, so just pipe down okay?

It always has to be about you, doesn't it? I just have to sit here while you prod me and poke me, while you deny me food or stuff god knows what down my throat, while you hurt me or let others do so, while you criticise me, while you wish me away, while you constantly try to hide me, while you act like I'm shameful and wrong.

Just shut the fuck up for once. You pretend it's all for my own good, but it's not. It's always about you. Do you ever stop for a moment to think that maybe I have wants and needs that you should be paying attention to? Do you ever consider that if you actually took care of me and gave me the help and the attention and the nutrition that I needed and devoted some time to anticipating just what those needs might be, then we might actually achieve some sort of healthy equilibrium here? If you were actually doing some fucking work to figure out what was best for me, instead of being a selfish, domineering, parasitic, self-destructive maw, grasping with broken fingernails after control at any cost?

Something you desperately need to learn, and never fucking have learned, is that THIS ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU.

Do you have any idea how amazing I am? How many things I could do, how many places I could go, how much life I could live if you just let me? If you just focused on something other than yourself for a change. 

Fuck's sake, you're not stupid. You know the talents I have, you know the pleasure I can give to myself and other people, you know how my presence can make people smile, you know how these hands can create things that amaze them, you know how far these legs can carry us, you know every beautiful thing these eyes have seen, and every blisteringly-raw emotion that has turned this jumble of bone, nerve, muscle, skin, and sinew in to a trembling wreck. I am so much more than my imperfections. Would you just stop to remember that once in a while?

We could be the greatest of allies, if only you would stop being my worst enemy.


Your Body

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